Truthful Tuesday. Where is your wild?

Where is your wild?

Your untamed your primal your no-bullshit authentic self?

I have a slight inkling of where she might be. Curled up under some emotional fog. 

No we don’t need to growl like a tiger to be wild, sure we can but that’s not the point. 

We also don’t need to wear fur or leather or nothing, or writhe like a snake or connect with Kali every day, sure we can but that is also not the point.

The point is that our Wilding is a CHOICE. A choice of which parts of us are we feeding at any given moment. Yes the beast needs to be fed. Newsflash! She LOVES the REAL.

I was on a dancefloor. I was witnessing something that made me incredibly jealous. Then I got upset that I was still feeling jealous about the thing after a number of years when I clearly, clearly, should have gotten over it by now!

Now at this point I had a choice.

I could have gone home and sulk alone and blame whoever.

I could have acted like nothing was going on, put on my mask and keep pretending to be dancing while being upset about still being jealous.

What I did instead was this. I laid down on the floor and I gave myself fully to the experience of jealousy. Envy. And of course the one that is always under that. Pain and hurt. I breathed it in fully, I focused on the sensations I was feeling in my body. Jealousy makes me shut down. My breathing becomes shallow, I contract in my heart and in my whole pelvic floor. My throat locks down, I cut the energy flow from my crown to the above. My vision becomes limited and I turn towards the voices in my head instead of turning away from them.

Jealousy is the surface. 

What is under there is pain. The hurt we feel about a broken dream, about something we think we should have gotten but we didn’t. It might be about What is wrong with you you bastard?! but, really, most often than not, it is about What is wrong with me???

Psst. Clue. Nothing. Is wrong with me. Or you, or anyone.

When a strong emotion hits, we can do a number of things. We can suppress it, we can let it take over in an unconscious way, OR, we can let it take over in a conscious way. 

Going ALL IN. No matter where you are, dancefloor or in the sea, find a way to go all in. 

Have and anger-gasm! A jealousy-gasm. A sad-gasm.

This is one step towards your ReWilding.

A new program I am working on.

I want to show you how you can turn all that intensity into - WHHHOOOOA! Pleasure. 

Yes. 

Who’s in?

PS the picture has absolutely nothing to do with this.

It is just a reminder for me, when I drive to boxing, to say Fuck Cakes and Sweet Hell, and buy a coconut instead. 

Because it all comes down to CHOICE. Right?